Soapbox Sessions

Humans are beans, too

Biden: 70, Ryan: 42

By Dave Roberts
Real AspenOctober 12, 2012

Vice President Joe Biden

If Doogie Howser had chosen politics, he would have picked Paul Ryan to be his running mate. Similar to Doctor Howser, Romney is being type-cast as a boy wonder who will expertly heal the ailing economy but, because of his brilliance, also needs someone close to him who is slightly more normal who can connect with other normal people, including the takers and Big Bird. On paper, the perfect combination, they go together like sweet & sour pork with Alka-Seltzer.

As the debate unfurled Thursday evening, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Vice President Joe Biden had just watched Gran Torino and was about to tell Paul Ryan to get off his lawn. A display that might even have prompted Clint Eastwood to sit up and take notice of who’s in the chair now, punk. A classic showdown between the dorky college graduate with perfect grades but no real world experience who has to convince the battle-hardened Colonel that he can’t handle the truth. Only this time, Ryan’s truths were quashed by much bigger ones as time after time he was metaphorically told to sit down and let the adults speak.

The nerve of an imp, almost half Biden’s age, to speak of track records as he scrambled desperately to focus the audience’s attention on the more positive aspects of the atrocious recent track record of his own party. But Biden wasn’t going to put up with any of this malarkey as he made a daisy chain out of the vacuous and rhetorical Republican talking points and hung them around Ryan’s neck as a token gesture of his appreciation. How do you tell a guy who’s been around the Middle East block since you were masturbating over Ayn Rand, that you would have done things differently? It’s never going to end well. Especially when your side started many of the fights and held the country’s finances to ransom to pay for its failed choices. But then bullies often adopt such tactics when they have to watch someone more worthy collect the glory for taking on the foe and defeating him. Perhaps you should read The Fountainhead again Mr. Ryan, and pay attention this time. Rand was not a fan of the showy plutocrat; she favored the non-hero – the one with personal character.

U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan

This is an election about choice; there is little doubt about that. Do you choose to believe or do you choose to observe? Believe what these candidates say they will do or observe what they have actually done. Which will you dismiss to bring harmony to the contradictions that are dueling so viciously for your attention? Will you place your beliefs above other people’s choices, morality above practicality? Humans that look like beans, cute little beans, or the freedom for women to make their own decisions. Life’s all about choices after all, who do you want making them for you?

Choose wisely because one of the two people we saw last night will be given the second set of keys and could potentially be the driver of this juggernaut of freedom. Do we want it to be driven forwards or backwards?


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